strange and random happenstance

By Earth by T. Thorn Coyle
Published by: Pf Publishing
Publication Date: April 27th, 2018
Format: Kindle, 242 Pages
Rating: ★★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

Legend has it that ghosts can't follow you over water. Between Tennessee and Portland there is a great big river bisecting the country. But legend fails to mention that there are ghosts everywhere. That is why Cassiel buried that part of her deep. Shoved her ability to see ghosts in a box and pushed it to the very back of the closet and kept it there through sheer willpower and rage. That wasn't who she was anymore. She wasn't the broken girl whose parents forced her to work with police. Now she has a new life, a coven, the Arrow and Crescent, whose patron Goddess is Diana, friends, and a job at a local cafe owned by the head of her coven, Raquel. Life is good, it's normal. Sure her landlord is about to make her homeless by increasing the rent, but at least she's in some control of her life. That is until the coven performs their Solstice eve ceremony and a ghost reaches out to Cassie. She's in denial that that is what she saw. That box is buried deep. History CAN NOT be repeating itself. And then into the cafe walks Joe. He's Raquel's next door neighbor. He's hot and he's haunted. His girlfriend Tarkia was a star reporter for the Mount Tabor Monthly who one night ended it all with a bottle of pills chased with some bourbon. An act totally against her nature. Her brother, Darius, has blamed Joe ever since. She's now been gone longer than Joe and her were together and yet he can't get over her. And his life is about to be hit with a dose of the uncanny. He suffers a severe injury at work due to a phone call that didn't register on his call log. When he approaches Cassie for help she freaks and he stumbles into Darius. Darius is not doing well. His apartment looks like the nest of a conspiracy theorist. But, loath as he is to admit it, Darius has a point. Whenever Cassie was working on something big she shut everyone out. Add to that she wasn't the type of person to kill herself and Darius has come to the conclusion she was murdered by whomever she was investigating. A suspicion Joe has had deep down for a long time. But Darius and Joe can't do this alone. Cassie is obviously involved because Tarika has reached out to her. And Cassie knows that three against unseen forces isn't nearly as good as a whole coven full of witches against the unknown. The Arrow and Crescent Coven is going to get justice for Tarkia, and maybe in the process start to help Portland to heal from the corruption at the very top. Sure, their approach might be unique, but after all, the goal is to keep Portland weird!

This book is like a warm embrace when you need it the most. A welcoming community with a conscience. It had the vibe of Charmed with a huge helping of social justice. It took me back to my college days where I moved through a cozy community of homes and restaurants and cafes talking about how the world could be changed while marveling that all my friends had the same moon and stars throw blanket. There is a very specific demographic for this book and I am it. Don't we all just want a safe haven? Don't we all just want there to be something we can do to help make the world a better place? Everyone deserves the right to live. That includes food and shelter. It also doesn't hurt that this takes place in Portland which has been on the news so much for how they are standing up to the government. Long live the frogs! Keep Portland weird! Go chicken man go! The issues I had with By Earth are that cozy vibes and good intentions can only take you so far. The plot matters. And as the book nears its conclusion it started to feel rushed and slightly incomprehensible. Like we were going to get some sort of ending but not everything wrapped up because there are eight more books focusing on different coven members that follow. And, well, even though this is from 2018, things have changed so much that I don't think a politician losing their shit on television is enough to get them ousted from power anymore. Their plan was to take those out at the top and it relied on consequences actually existing. And well, as we've seen more and more, there are no consequences anymore. And their are no editors anymore because dear me, the timeline errors and typos are rife. Because there is NO WAY the timeline of this book works. So, this story starts on the eve of winter solstice and primarily concludes on Christmas Eve. There's a denouement a few days later, but that's not important. Day one, we have our "meet cute" between Cassie and Joe when he comes to repair the pipes at the cafe. Day two, Joe has his accident. Which means they have their first "date" on the third day and Joe runs into Darius and agrees to meet him at his apartment the next day. Day four into day five, after being with Darius Joe stays up all night connecting the dots that Darius previously had and has some takeout with Cassie which leads to a full coven meeting. Day six Cassie and Darius meet and there's an arson attempt and everything concludes on day seven. That's, minimally, seven days it takes for the events of this story to happen. I'm sure I'm missing some and Joe's injury hopefully meant he rested a day or two in bed. But minimally seven days. So, the earliest the winter solstice can be is December 20th. That means our story starts properly on the 20th and concludes on the 24th. Five days. Are there two Mondays or Tuesdays!?! Because there actually are two Thursdays... This is just annoying lack of foresight that drove me batty. If I hadn't gone down the days of the week conspiracy like Darius with Tarkia's murder this would have been such an enjoyable read. As is, I enjoyed it, but with caveats because I could not in good conscience ignore the blatant time discrepancies.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: An Urban Development, By Earth, Charmed, Christmas Eve, Editor, Gentrification, Ghosts, Investigative Journalism, Politicians, Portland, Social Justice, T. Thorn Coyle, The Witches of Portland, Timeline, Winter Solstice, Witches

Dial Witch by Jo-Ann Carson
Published by: Jo-Ann Carson
Publication Date: February 1st, 2022
Format: Kindle, 298 Pages
Rating: ★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

Now that the regulars know about the supernatural world it's time to come together. To heal the chasm between the haves and have-nots. And what better place than the sleepy little Pacific Northwest town of Mystic Keep which is known as a sanctuary for mages? And that's just what Jane Black plans to do. She wants to help her community, it's what her mother taught her. One should share their talents for the good of all. So on a sunny July day, despite the objections of her family, her familiar, and her mother threatening to disown her, she opens up Dial Witch, the one-stop shop of sorcery in Mystic Keep. And it's like a small fire has been lit in the community. There's a reason mages and regulars aren't meant to mix. When Taupe Halliday accosts Jane in her shop declaiming that her reckless behavior will expose them all perhaps she should have listened. You need to be wary of little old ladies who complain about your shop, they might just be dragons in disguise. Dragons with connections. Which is how Jane, almost before she has her first customer, already has a complaint lodged against her with the Dragon Federation of the ninth. Which means an enforcer will soon be making an appearance in Mystic Keep. But before dragons comes family, and they are just as vocal about her new career path as Taupe Halliday. Family dinners with the witches of the Magnolia Black coven are either heartwarming or terrorizing, depending on Jane's sisters and their spouses. Thankfully they have something more serious to worry about than Jane's little shop. A bounty has been put out on warlock babies. Seeing as her sister Cassie has just had a baby with her husband Sanjay and her older sister Merlina is heavily pregnant with her and her husband Donovan's child, this is worrying to the family. In fact Jane is a little pissed they didn't inform her of it earlier. The fact that she's had only one customer who asked her to murder her husband is nothing compared to what her family is facing. Especially once it's revealed the Kryg, the scum of the multiverse, warriors who share a mutant-cyborg-vampire ancestry, are hunting the babies. But luckily Helios Daragon, commonly known as Leos, who has been sent to shut down Jane's shop because the magistrate, his boss, is Taupe Halliday's nephew, is a man of honor and agrees to help Jane's family. He doesn't even request a quid pro quo as he's instantly smitten with Jane, his trésor, a provocative cross between a feisty wench and an angel. Between a hot dragon trying to shut her down, a bounty on her beloved family members, and a shop that is surprisingly booming, Jane has no time for anything else. So of course a vampire starts to blackmail her and she's kidnapped. Sadly neither of which are unheard of for her. It's just another day in Mystic Keep.

The Dial Witch trilogy is set within the larger Mystic Keep universe, or multiverse as it is, and is billed as a standalone. I am here to tell you that it's not a standalone. This is like watching a once fun show that has gone on too long and is so stuck up its own ass with its mythology that new fans won't engage and old fans keep watching out of habit hoping someone will put it out of its misery. In other words, this is like the last few seasons of Charmed. Maybe at some point, if I could actually figure out where this series started, I would discover it wasn't just characters standing abruptly and stating facts and mentioning in passing events that happened that I have no idea about. This books was at times infuriating in how it doesn't seem to care about the readers or even the characters. There is no development, not forward story, just one thing happening after another and then it's over. But without a real conclusion just two more books to read. Though do I actually believe those two books resolve Jane's story? Oh I so do not. After all she has some backstory with a cop who was turned into a werewolf and she was shunned by his new pack. Again, this isn't gotten into. It's just something that happened and we're moving along, we have magic school and Leo is with the Elders, and nope, I'm confusing this again with the worst of Charmed. But who can blame me when Merlina and her chin act like they are mugging for a camera that doesn't exist and they both have Leos. Though my main problems come down to three sticking points. One, the pull quotes. Each chapter starts with one, some from well known authors, and some obviously so loved by Carson that she uses them more than once, hopefully on purpose. But what author would think Pinterest is a good source for a pull quote to start a chapter!?! A quote that is literally "What did one saggy boob say to another? You better perk up, or they'll think we're nuts." ~ anon, Pinterest" I think that right there is self-explanatory as to why I hate it so much. Two, what the hell is this worldbuilding!?! There are nine dimensions? Realms? Whatever? There are cyborg vampires and real vampires and werewolves and dragon shifters and could someone just explain things to me because the witches aren't from Earth so where the hell are they from!?! Again, a once beloved show on it's last legs. Three, she's giving her customers ED "potions" for their husbands to "cure" them. Who the hell gave her the right to literally give someone a 24/7 hard-on? What's more, this is distilling marital problems down to sex. Yes, sex is important to a marriage, but it's not the only thing. Also, as expected it gets out of hand, see above kidnapping. Overall this book was a lot thrown at you and nothing sticks. It's mildly entertaining but totally forgettable. Oh, and she doesn't even have sex with the dragon. And four, why is her shop called Dial Witch!?! WHY!?!

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: An Urban Development, Babies, Blackmail, Bounty, Charmed, Dial Witch, Dragons, Helios Daragon, Jane Black, Jo-Ann Carson, Kidnapping, Magnolia Black Coven, Multiverse, Mystic Keep, Pacific Northwest, Pinterest, Pull Quotes, Trilogy

A Bride's Story, Vol. 15 by Kaoru Mori
Published by: Yen Press
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 224 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Anthropologist Henry Smith returns to England from Central America with his bride Talas, intending to introduce her to his parents.

However, despite her love for Smith, Talas is saddened to be leaving the homeland she loves so dearly.

How will the Smith family react upon meeting their new daughter-in-law?"

I have adored this series from day one and this summer I finished up a reread so I am DESPERATE for this volume. DESPERATE I SAY!

The Girl, the Priest, and the Devil by Theo Prasidis and Staša Gacpar
Published by: Dead Sky Publishing
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Paperback, 128 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"In Ottoman Greece, a motherless girl named Daphne leads a suffocating farmer's life. When her older brother dies after a short illness, her patriarch father curses God for leaving him with only a daughter. Unable to pay the local priest for his son's burial, he compels Daphne to go to the village and beg for money. Daphne gets rejected and mocked by the villagers, and flees to the mountains, where she finds a gold pouch. She dares to dream - this could be her way out. But just before she's about to carry out her escape plan, the Devil pays her a visit. These lands belong to him. And pay-ment is due.

Black Mass Rising author Theo Prasidis and emerging artist Staša Gacpar invite you to the mystical countryside of 19th century Greece, a land wreathed in legends and superstition. Inspired by actual folktales of the time, The Girl, the Priest, and the Devil is a captivating graphic novel with the otherworldly quality of the weird folklore of old."

This is a book that is at once aggravating and empowering, aggravating to see how Daphne is ostracized by those she loves and empowering by how she finds freedom. For all fans of historical fantasy. A must read. 

Mine is a Long, Lonesome Grave by Justin Jordan and Chris Shehan
Published by: Oni Press
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Paperback, 104 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"From the writer of The Strange Talent of Luther Strode and the artists of House of Slaughter and Morning Star - folk magic and cold-blooded revenge collide in rural Appalachia!

Eisner and Harvey Award–nominated writer Justin Jordan (The Strange Talent of Luther Strode, Dead Body Road) and #1 bestselling artist Chris Shehan (House of Slaughter), and Ringo Award nominated-artist Maan House (Morning Star) throw a brass-knuckled gut punch of revenge-horror torn from the forgotten corners of West Virginia, where magic and murder go hand in hand...

Harley Creed is a bad man. He used to be worse.

A violent ex-con with a string of brutal crimes in his past, he only wanted one thing when he finally walked free from prison: to leave Briar Falls, WV, behind and disappear forever. But Harley's hometown has a strange way of swallowing people whole - call it a consequence of the low-level folk magic that has permeated its darker corners for generations. And now that Harley has returned, pent-up vengeance for his past crimes is about to come roaring back. Somebody has put a hex on him - and Harley has seven days before he dies in twisted, screaming agony.

To reverse it, Harley must find and kill his unseen enemy before their curse can reap its terrible end. But in Briar Falls, there's no shortage of suspects - and Harley is coming for them all. If he can't have peace, at least he can have revenge."

This is a quick headlong rush of death and more death with a veneer of the supernatural. I would have liked to know more about the world before it was over and done.

Far Down Below by Chris Condon and Gegê Schall
Published by: Mad Cave Studios
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Paperback, 152 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Journey to the Center...of Eastern Pennsylvania. On a rainy 1983 summer day, two friends decide to investigate a haunted house, and inadvertently discover a tunnel to the center of the earth.

It all begins in 1865. Somewhere beneath Pennsylvania, in darkness. A distant sound is heard. A whirring...Suddenly, the wall explodes and a gigantic drill bit bursts through, revealing a train-like cab and locomotive wheels encased by sharp, metal treads. This metal beast is known, simply, as THE MONOLITH. Explorers emerging from the cab look at the massive cavern they are standing in, and declare that they have found it - The Hollow Earth. From the darkness, something slithers up the cab, kills the lights, and the explorers are never seen alive again...

A century later. 1983. It's a rainy day in Eastern Pennsylvania. Two friends, Mike and Brian, are bored at Brian's house. While down in the basement, they uncover the key to Brian's grandfather’s house - abandoned since the mid-60s and presumed haunted after his grandfather mysteriously disappeared."

Goonies like adventure with a Hollow Earth theory!?! How could you not pick this up?

The Black Crow Book of Best New Horror Volume 1 by Various
Published by: Black Crow Books
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 200 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"13 original tales to terrify in a brand new anthology showcasing the very best and bizarre in horror fiction.

Featuring horror legends and worldwide bestsellers Olivie Blake, Ramsey Campbell, Lisa Tuttle, Tim Lebbon, V Castro, Ally Wilkes, Rian Hughes, Lindy Ryan, Susi Holliday, Lily Kade, TL Huchu, Adrian Tchaikovsky, and Clay McLeod Chapman.

Be careful what you wish for.

Whether searching for love, fame, money or revenge, remember that everything comes with a price. From stepping into an unknown in nature to ignoring the warnings of locals, to finding your perfect match or facing the hidden horrors of your past, beware.

The thirteen stories in this brand-new anthology explore the dark side of human nature and take us into the hidden, terrifying recesses of a world we never see. Until it's too late ."

Yes, be careful what you wish for, in particular horror anthologies by kick-ass authors who will keep you awake late into the winter night.

Asa James by Jodi Lew-Smith
Published by: Koehler Books
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 306 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"1875 Vermont. Asa James hasn't exactly sucked on the silver spoon. No one chooses to grow up on a rural poor farm, but a mixed-race orphan with Asa's scarred face has little choice.

Determined to be a naturalist and scientific thinker in the vein of Charles Darwin, instead he finds himself thrust alone into the wider world, taking a tutor's position at a mountaintop mansion. There, the widow Caro Rockwell is glossy and sardonic, someone so far outside Asa's experience that she could well be another species. But soon he glimpses the broken woman inside the shell. Amid a series of eerie events, they form a friendship that grows into a sweet and tender sort of love.

His heart has what it wants. But then, from within the many dark recesses of Mansfield Hall, a shameful secret is discovered that will force Asa into making a terrible choice."

Shades of Angels and Insects.

The Mysterious Death of Junetta Plum by Valerie Wilson Wesley
Published by: Kensington
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 224 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"At the darkly glamorous height of the Roaring 20s, an independent Black intellectual and her bi-racial foster child are immersed in the vibrant world of the Harlem Renaissance - and a shocking murder on Striver's Row - in this thrilling Jazz Age mystery for reader of Nekesia Afia, Jacqueline Winspear, Avery Cunningham's The Mayor of Maxwell Street.

1926: Harriet Stone, a liberated, educated Black woman, and Lovey, the orphaned, biracial 12-year-old she is bound to protect, are Harlem-bound, embarking on a new, hopefully less traumatic chapter in their lives. They have been invited to move from Connecticut by Harriet's cousin, Junetta Plum, who runs a boardinghouse for independent-minded single women.

It's a bold move, since Harriet has never met Junetta, but the fatalities of the Spanish flu and other tragedies have already forced her and Lovey to face their worst fears. Alone but for each other, they have little left to lose - or so it seems as they arrive at sophisticated Junetta's impressive brownstone.

Her cousin has a sharp edge, which makes Harriett slightly uncomfortable. Still, after retiring to her room for the night, she finally falls asleep - only to awaken to Junetta arguing with someone downstairs. In the morning, she makes a shocking discovery at the foot of the stairs.

What ensues will lead Harriet to question Junetta's very identity - and to wonder if she and Lovey are in danger, as well. It will also tie Harriet to five strangers. Among them, Harriet is sure someone knows something. What she doesn't yet know is that one will play a crucial role in helping her investigate her cousin's murder...that she will be tied to the others in ways she could never imagine... and that her life will take off in a startling new direction...."

A startling new direction? Say, solving crime?

These Crooked Things by Ellen Byerrum
Published by: Lethal Black Dress Press
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Kindle, 352 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"A corpse, a coverup, and a grievously injured pregnant woman lead a playwright and a playboy detective down a crooked path to a secret society, a long-ago death, and three potential killers of a very rich bad boy.

It's November 1934. Post-Prohibition lingers like a hangover in New York City as famous gangsters fight for headlines with local criminals, Broadway shows, and society sinners.

Amid the glitz and glamour, a man lies dead on the floor of a swanky Upper East Side apartment as his injured pregnant wife hides nearby. Private detective Graydon Chase and his new fiancé, playwright Esmé de LaForet, are called in by the family to keep the scandal at bay. But there's no keeping this crime quiet, as playwright and playboy pursue a crooked path to untangle multiple would-be killers, with more than enough motives to go around.

Complications abound when Graydon's aristocratic English parents invite themselves to Esmé's place for that most American holiday - Thanksgiving. Over the turkey and stuffing, Graydon's oh-so-upper-crust father itches to involve himself in the investigation (despite his prejudice against his son's fiancé as a "woman of the theatre"), and a local mobster trying to go legit wades into the thick of it, bringing vital information on the murder. Will it arrive in time to keep our detecting duo safe from a gunman's bullet? And which gunman is the real danger?

The second mystery in the Art Deco Mysteries by Ellen Byerrum."

I think the prospective in-laws for Thanksgiving might be the most dangerous part of this endeavor. 

The Red Scare Murders by Con Lehane
Published by: Soho Crime
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 400 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"This wry, big-hearted noir brings 1950s New York to life, from the tenements of Hell's Kitchen to the mansions of Riverdale, from Sing Sing to City Hall, with a gripping murder mystery laying bare the explosive conflicts between its big wheels, its working stiffs, its gangsters, and its dreamers.

July 1950: Mick Mulligan has just hung out his shingle as a private investigator in New York's sweaty Hell's Kitchen. A former Hollywood cartoonist who was blacklisted during a communist witch hunt, Mick is broke, divorced, and in need of a paying gig to make his child support payments. But maybe not this gig. First off, it's impossible. Worse, it's liable to get him killed.

Last year, universally reviled cab company owner Irwin Johnson was murdered. One of his drivers, an African American Communist Party member named Harold Williams, was arrested, tried, and found guilty, despite scant evidence. Now his execution date is two weeks away. New York City labor leader Duke Rogowski asks Mick to find fresh evidence that might buy Harold a stay of execution.

Lots of people might have wanted Irwin Johnson dead - anyone from his betrayed wife to his jilted mistresses' jealous husbands to the mafiosi he was stealing business from. But no one has any reason to help Mick exonerate Harold Williams, and some of Irwin's former associates are happy to take a blunt object to the head of anyone asking awkward questions. Yet Mick can't abandon a potentially innocent man to the electric chair. Can he pull off a miracle?"

Or you know, getting killed is a way to get out of paying child support...

The Bookseller of Hay by James Hanning
Published by: Corsair
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 320 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"In 1962, a young man left university without a degree and, for want of anything better to do, bought a small shop in an obscure market town on the edge of the Brecon Beacons. Within fifteen years, largely through force of personality, Richard Booth had created the world's largest second-hand bookshop, attracting thousands of visitors from across the globe to Hay-on-Wye, on the Welsh border.

The Bookseller of Hay tells the tale of an extraordinary, chaotic man, a true British eccentric, who invented the term 'book town', attracted a coterie of exotic and illustrious followers, crowned himself king, declared the town's independence and provided the bookish backdrop which - to his frustration - allowed a rival attraction, the now world-famous Hay Festival, to flourish.

It is a story of the extraordinary singlemindedness of a hard-working, hard-playing and rebellious son of privilege, inspired by a romantic vision and a deep love of the area, of a man better suited to publicity than bean-counting who launched countless careers but whose business instincts undermined precisely what had brought success. Booth was a deeply divisive figure, but love him or hate him, all agree on one thing. He put Hay on the map.

James Hanning, a frequent visitor to Hay since the 1960s, has interviewed dozens of local people and booksellers and with typical acuity wonderfully captures this bygone era of eccentricity and excess."

If you're a book lover you know about Hay-on-Wye and dream about visiting. Here's a history of it's rise to prominence through Richard Booth. 

The Once and Future Queen by Paula Lafferty
Published by: Erewhon Books
Publication Date: December 16th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 312 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Outlander-meets-The Princess Bride plus Camelot in a fresh, big-hearted, feminist, timeslip adventure reimagining the epic saga of King Arthur, as told from the perspective of his spunky and surprising queen, Vera - complete with time travel and good running shoes!

Vera always knew she didn't fit in. When she learns that she is meant to be in another time, she leaps at the chance to embrace a new life in a world of valor, intrigue, and unexpected magic in this bold and romantic retelling of Arthurian legend...

22-year-old Vera is at a crossroads: waiting tables, grieving her previous relationship, and jogging aimlessly each morning as if toward an uncertain future. Then an odd man shows up at her workplace, insisting that she was once the legendary Queen Guinevere of Camelot, and that her lost memories hold the key to changing both the past and the present. Somehow, it all feels like the direction she's been looking for. But when she asks the mysterious man to tell her more about Lancelot, Arthur, and a faithless queen, he can only say that much of what she's heard about Camelot is wrong. The truth, he claims, is something she must see for herself.

After jumping through a portal in Glastonbury's historic center, Vera is not prepared for what she finds. Magic is everywhere, but a curse on the kingdom means it dwindles every day. She has no idea how to perform a queen's duties. Her fast friendship with Lancelot sets gossip flowing, and the stranger she must call "husband" often refuses to meet her eye. Arthur is a puzzle: cold, forbidding, and, while angry to her face, keeps leaving secret tokens of tenderness in her chambers. Worst of all, Vera's memories - and the answers locked within them - show no signs of returning. If Vera is truly destined to save Camelot, she'll have to trust her instincts. And her king will have to trust her..."

Imagine having such a shitty life that you instantly believe you're a Queen from myth. I mean, at least it's an escape right?

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: A Bride's Story, Chris Condon, Con Lehane, Ellen Byerrum, Hay-on-Wye, Horror, James Hanning, Jodi Lew-Smith, Justin Jordan, Kaoru Mori, Olivie Blake, Paula Lafferty, Staša Gacpar, Theo Prasidis, TL Huchu, Valerie Wilson Wesley

Investigation, Mediation, Vindication by Chris Tullbane
Published by: Ghost Falls Press
Publication Date: May 19th, 2020
Format: Kindle, 330 Pages
Rating: ★★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

Placing an ad for your business in a phone book in 2013 probably isn't the wisest use of your meager funds. Placing that ad while drunk is definitely worse. Writing the ad copy while on the third pitcher of beer with your best friend means that the ad just might reflect how drunk you are. Which is why John Smith's ad in the phone book for his PI business reads: "Investigation. Mediation. Vindication. No case too small, no fee too large. (Tips gratefully accepted, but not required.)" And that ad is about to come back and bite him in the ass. Comic Con is in full swing in San Diego when two people in giant crab costumes attack him. Sure, his office might be in a sketchy neighborhood a few miles from the convention, but that doesn't mean he instantly finds it suspicious. Until he realizes that they aren't in costumes and a kick as woman saves his ass and tells him his life is in danger. Who is he to argue with his future wife? Who just happens to be a vampire. Turns out, vampires are real. But everything we know about them is wrong, even the whole aversion to daylight thing. And the vampires need John Smith. Not for his PI skills, for his mediation skills. Which are non-existent. He tried to watch a video once. It didn't go well. Does he have to mention again that he was really drunk when he placed the ad and it just sounded cool? The problem is there is a large supernatural world that mundane humans know nothing about. If something cataclysmic, like a war, were to break out, then all the humans would die. The vampires are on the brink of war due to accusations hurled at them by Lord Beel-Kasan, demigod of nightmares and terror, but John can call him Bill. According to the rules laid out for these types of grievances a mediator is called in, approved of by both parties, and is given a month to resolve the issues or war commences. But there's someone in San Diego who really wants a war. The regular mediator, the Rook, has been brutally murdered. As has every other mediator in the city. John survived only due to vampire intervention and being listed in the phone book under P for Private Investigator. Which means John's the last mediator standing. In a little over twenty-four hours' time, John Smith had gone from having no cases and limited career prospects, to having two cases and a limited life expectancy. It didn't seem like an improvement.

I'm really of two minds about this book and that's probably because there's a distinct break point in the middle where it goes from inaction to action. The first half of this book is nothing more than vampire lore and John Smith hanging out at the vampire House eating amazing sandwiches and playing video games while the second half of the book actually has a plot. I mean, I admire Chris Tullbane's take on vampire lore, the way their hierarchy works, how they turn and when, and their reverence of children. This is all fascinating stuff, the problem is, while we're learning this there's nothing else going on. Literally nothing. So much nothing that the fact that John puts on a Greendale Community College t-shirt is interesting and becomes a plot point because us readers are so starved for anything in the plot desert of this book. At that point I honestly didn't think I could finish this book. I had just dragged myself through another horrible urban fantasy book and I really strive to not be such a masochist. Oh, who am I kidding, I will finish any book no matter how much I hate it. Which was why it was such a relief when John was introduced to Lord Beel-Kasan, demigod of nightmares and terror, and all of a sudden there was a plot. The vampires had stolen his NES and John was to find it and bring the two perpetrators to him for vengeance. In other words they might be turned into candelabra's in Bill's special hell. You know, what normal demigods do when someone steals their video game consoles... And yes, John did ask if he could buy him a replacement, but his guesstimate on cost was way below market price. So there was a plot, there was Bill, there was a nice Checquy vibe. I was on board, I was enjoying myself, things were happening, and sure, maybe there was a little too much death at the end but at least something was happening. The desert was now only in Bill's hell dimension. So I enjoyed the book but I'm still wondering about John Smith, from a long line of John Smiths. And no, I'm not wondering if he's The Doctor, I'm wondering if he's an asshole. See, the thing is, John Smith is a bit of a throwback dudebro with mildly sexist vibes. The vampires find the foibles of this human amusing and I just don't know what to think. In fact his Skinemax sexism has turned off quite a few readers and I have to question have I become inured to this type of behavior? Have I been conditioned not to care because as a woman this is so prevalent we had to adapt. I mean, sure he'll compliment the guys too, but I feel like I should be angrier that he is so regressive. I shouldn't be more annoyed that his bragging got a whole bunch of fictional innocents killed than that he's sexist right? Right!?!

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: An Urban Development, Chris Tullbane, Community, Demigod, Investigation Mediation Vindication, John Smith, Lord Beel-Kasan, Mediator, NES, Phone Book, Plot, Private Investigator, San Diego, Sexist, The Checquy, Vampires, Vindication

The Midnight Pack by Jasmine Kuliasha
Published by: Orbit
Publication Date: May 27th, 2025
Format: eBook, 352 Pages
Rating: ★
To Buy

Jericho James has made a name for herself. Not the name she'd have necessarily chosen when she became a P.I. but when you become the foremost investigator in debunking cryptids, you embrace that rep. Also, it's never Cthulhu, it's almost always snakes. Occasionally an octopus. She should know, she's from Florida. Only once before has she investigated a case with a fatality. A case she'll never forget. Which is why when she's called to Stillbridge, Maine, to investigate the death of a college graduate who was hiking the Appalachian Trail who met a gruesome end she takes her job seriously. The locals assume it's a bear attack but the sheriff isn't quite so certain. Neither is the young boy Mikey who approaches Jericho to ask if she's there to kill the monster. In fact Mikey is soon her best source for information in the small town. Though she should have listened to him and never gone into the woods. But she needed to see the scene of the crime. And, according to the sheriff, the local hermit, Kermit, lives out in the depths of the forest, miles beyond the scene of the crime, and might be able to help. So she's off to find Kermit the hermit. Only Jericho has miscalculated the number of hours of daylight needed for her trek and only gets as far as the scene of the crime when she realizes she'll need to turn back. Of course that's exactly when she's attacked. Chased from the clearing she falls into a ravine and twists her ankle before she succumbs to darkness. She awakes the next day to sunlight streaming in through a window under a veritable mountain of blankets. Soon her rescuer makes an appearance. It turns out Kermit isn't such a hermit after all. He lives with his three sons, Benjamin, Theo, and Seth. It's Benjamin that Jericho is instantly drawn to. Neither of them can deny their chemistry. She is reluctantly, by some, welcomed into the Grey family compound. This isn't just a shack in the woods; there's terraces and gardens, patios and a gym, and a state of the art laboratory. Because these four men, who have been living in secret without any female presence since Kermit's wife and the boys' mother died five years earlier, are scientists. They are looking to fully eradicate a bloodborne pathogen. Not just keep it controlled like scientists can now do with HIV, but eliminate it completely. Their work is well funded and secret. Which is fine by Jericho. She can heal, do some research in their vast library, and ogle Benjamin. That is until it's brought home to her by some otherworldly forces that her hosts might be more dangerous than she thought. She really should have listened to Mikey.

This book had such a solid start; Jericho James arrives in Maine and befriends a child who knows all about the monsters in the woods and I literally had goosebumps. The Midnight Pack had all the hallmarks of Stephen King with a hint of Something is Killing the Children and then Jericho went into the woods and it became Twilight. Only somehow not even as good as Twilight if you dare to imagine that. Oh, and if you're wondering, Jericho knows all about Twilight and apparently learned nothing from Stephenie Meyer. Longing looks and losing her brain were what followed for the next couple hundred pages. I literally just couldn't with this book. It's like her desire overrode all capacity for rational thinking. How are they doing research without a computer? Do you think maybe they lied about not having one? Or about not having a phone? Or about exactly how you ended up injured? But then again, she debunks cryptids for a living and didn't even know what a wendigo is. A wendigo! If you Google cryptid it's literally the eleventh cryptid listed. AND might I add, this is with Google totally not working right anymore because of AI. Yes yes, we can argue that technically a wendigo isn't a cryptid, but the fact she'd never heard of one beggars belief. In fact I was hoping the killer would be like a wendigo/werewolf hybrid called a wendiwoof, but no, I did not get my wish, and while other people have done this type of hybrid they didn't name it the wendiwoof so I am claiming copyright. The ignorance of our heroine time and time again is just infuriating. Jasmine Kuliasha could of at least had some fun with Jericho being the personification of a dumb blonde, but she was just wanting to turn this into a romance, cue the heavy petting. And no. This book isn't sophisticated enough for this joke. I mean, it literally took over half the book for werewolf to even be uttered when it's on the freaking cover. And yes, I know that characters aren't self-aware, this isn't Thursday Next, but come on. Then again Jericho isn't even properly kitted out for a walk in the woods, always wearing just exercise tights and a tank top, maybe a light flannel. This is fall. In MAINE! Ugh, she is just too dumb to live. Let Benjamin's brothers have at her. But Jericho is only as ignorant as her creator. I didn't keep track of each and every infraction, it would have ended up longer than the book especially with how the house didn't seem to abide by the blueprints or the laws of physics. So let's go with the biggest one. A werewolf pack has a one out one in rule. So if they lose a member of the pack they have to be replaced. When Jericho kills the villainous brother the pack is worried she will be forced into becoming a werewolf to replace him. But hang on a minute. Five years earlier Kermit's wife, a werewolf, died. No one replaced her. So, um, what's with that? In fact what's with all of this. I just want to forget I ever read it. Sadly the worse the book the longer it remains.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: An Urban Development, Appalachian Trail, Cryptids, Cthulhu, Jasmine Kuliasha, Jericho James, Maine, Mikey, Plot Hole, Something is Killing the Children, Stephen King, Stephenie Meyer, The Midnight Pack, Twilight, Wendigo, Werewolf

Cape Fever by Nadia Davids
Published by: Simon and Schuster
Publication Date: December 9th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 240 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"From award-winning South African author Nadia Davids comes a gothic psychological thriller set in the 1920s, where a young maid finds herself entangled with the spirits of a decaying manor and the secrets of its enigmatic owner.

I come highly recommended to Mrs. Hattingh through sentences I tell her I cannot read.

The year is 1920, in a small, unnamed city in a colonial empire. Soraya Matas believes she has found the ideal job as a personal maid to the eccentric Mrs. Hattingh, whose beautiful, decaying home is not far from The Muslim Quarter where Soraya lives with her parents. As Soraya settles into her new role, she discovers that the house is alive with spirits.

While Mrs. Hattingh eagerly awaits her son's visit from London, she offers to help Soraya stay in touch with her fiancé Nour by writing him letters on her behalf. So begins a strange weekly meeting where Soraya dictates and Mrs. Hattingh writes - a ritual that binds the two women to one another and eventually threatens the sanity of both.

Cape Fever is a masterful blend of gothic themes, folk-tales, and psychological suspense, reminiscent of works by Silvia Moreno-Garcia and Daphne du Maurier, and Soraya Matas is an unforgettable narrator, whose story of love and grief, is also a chilling exploration of class and the long reach of history."

Daphne du Maurier you say?

Dark Sisters by Kristi DeMeester
Published by: St. Martin's Press
Publication Date: December 9th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 336 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"In this fiercely captivating novel, horror meets historical fiction when a curse bridges generations, binding the fates of three women. Anne Bolton, a healer facing persecution for witchcraft, bargains with a dark entity for protection - but the fire she unleashes will reverberate for centuries. Mary Shephard, a picture-perfect wife in a suffocating community, falls for Sharon and begins a forbidden affair that could destroy them both. And Camilla Burson, the rebellious daughter of a preacher, defies conformist expectations to uncover an ancient power as her father’s flock spirals into crisis.

Three women. Three centuries. One legacy of fury, love, and a power that refuses to die."

Yes, women will burn it down!

Murder in Manhattan by Julie Mulhern
Published by: Forever
Publication Date: December 9th, 2025
Format: Paperback, 352 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Inspired by one of the first real-life female columnists at the New Yorker, this enticing historical mystery follows Freddie Archer as she solves crimes while reporting on the glamorous world of the rich and famous in 1920s Manhattan.

This writer just found her next scoop...and it's deadly.

New York, 1925 - Freddie Archer frequents speakeasies and wild parties with her friends Dorothy Parker and Tallulah Bankhead. And the best part is that it's all in a day's work. Freddie loves her job writing the nightlife column for Gotham Magazine.

But Freddie's latest piece just won her a bit more attention than she bargained for - from the police. A man mentioned in her column has been murdered. And Freddie is asked to keep an eye out for his fashionable female dinner companion. She's told in no uncertain terms to stay out of the case herself.

So naturally, Freddie throws herself into an investigation that takes her from the elegant stores that line Fifth Avenue to the tenements south of Houston Street. Now between sipping gin rickeys with Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald and casting Broadway shows with Groucho Marx, she's dodging bullets and dating a potentially dangerous bootlegger.

Freddie wanted adventure and excitement. But will she survive it?"

This fills the void left by the end of J.J. Murphy's Dorothy Parker mysteries! 

An Ambush of Tigers by Sarah Yarwood-Lovett
Published by: Embla Books
Publication Date: December 9th, 2025
Format: eBook, 352 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"At Finchmere, beneath the snow, an ambush lies in wait...

After a dazzling Indian wedding, Nell and Rav return to a frost-kissed Finchmere, eager to host their blessing in the woodland Nell loves best. But, as their nearest and dearest gather, someone is setting a deadly snare.

The country estate is in its winter finery, with new artisans creating crafts for the Festive Finchmere Christmas Market. Before the celebrations unfold, a shocking secret is revealed, which shows how their families were fatally intertwined, centuries before Nell and Rav said, 'I do.'

As their newlywed bliss unravels, some of their party are poisoned - and Rav is forced to face the risk of losing those he loves. While Nell wrestles with her own family history, the tragedies in Rav's sow seeds of doubt as she hunts down the murderer.

But Nell cannot expose the truth that will save Rav, his family, and their relationship without evidence.

Using all her ecological skills - and all her nerve - Nell must set a dangerous trap for the most cold-blooded killer she's encountered yet.

With the predator poised to pounce, can Nell lure them out of hiding before someone else she loves becomes their prey?"

Always here for any murder even in the vicinity of a "frost-kissed" estate.

How to Grieve Like a Victorian by Amy Carol Reeves
Published by: Canary Street Press
Publication Date: December 9th, 2025
Format: Paperback, 320 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"It's fine. She's fine. Really.

When life's turned you into a big hot mess, there's still love, laughs, and snark to be had...

Dr. Lizzie Wells, professor of British literature and bestselling author, is not okay. She wasn't consulted when her beloved husband died unexpectedly, so she's going to grieve however she damned well chooses. Keeping a lock of his hair in a choker around her neck and donning widow's weeds. You bet. Notifying colleagues and students that she will only accept paper letters instead of email. Why not? Very nearly kissing her late husband's best friend, Henry. Unfortunately, er...yes.

So when she's offered a trip to London, Lizzie grabs it. What better place to escape, heal, and be reborn than in the same city where Queen Victoria famously mourned her beloved Prince Albert? Encouraged by new friends to be bold, have champagne and oysters before noon, and celebrate the beauty and the messiness of life, Lizzie begins to embrace it all.

Still, there's that almost kiss with Henry she just can't forget. Their cross-Atlantic 'check-ins' turn into FaceTime hangouts and their friendship evolves into something more. When Henry shows up in London, Lizzie fears she's falling in love with him... Will she bravely embrace this second chance, too?"

Hell, go for it! It's not like Lizzie is the Queen and has an appearance to maintain. 

An Archive of Romance by Ava Reid
Published by: HarperCollins
Publication Date: December 9th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 240 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"The enchanting world of A Study in Drowning comes to life through letters, poems, art, and more in this novella from #1 New York Times bestselling author Ava Reid. This full-color illustrated collector's edition is a jaw-dropping addition to the beloved dark academia series with stunning painterly endpapers, romantic rose gold foil flourishes, over 40 illustrations, and expanding and new text.

"I will love you to ruination," the Fairy King said, brushing a strand of golden hair from my cheek.

"Yours or mine?" I asked.

The Fairy King did not answer.

Effy and Preston have been torn apart by the wars of men, the power of words, and the specter of magic - but it was through stories that they found each other. Relive Effy and Preston's love story through their own pens in this immersive collection of mementos, illustrations, maps, blueprints, diary entries, and more. Read Angharad with Effy's annotations; sneak excerpts of Preston's diary; see the architectural sketches that brought Effy to Hiraeth; get your own ticket to Saltney; and experience, for the first time, the epilogue to Effy and Preston's romance. This deluxe package includes:

-Full color throughout with painterly endpapers
-Over 40 illustrations
-Romantic rose gold foil
-Expanded and new text from the world of A Study of Drowning
-An enchanting never-before-seen epilogue

A perfect gift for fans of A Study in Drowning and A Theory of Dreaming and anyone who wants to embark on their own dark academia journey, this gorgeously illustrated novella collects ephemera from Effy and Preston as they remember the romance and prepare for a new chapter in their lives - together."

Ephemera from literary worlds is my catnip!

Complete Labyrinth: Beyond the Goblin City by Various
Published by: Archaia
Publication Date: December 9th, 2025
Format: Hardcover, 304 Pages
To Buy

The official patter:
"Celebrate the beloved Jim Henson fantasy film with this complete hardcover collection of stories from inside the magical walls of the labyrinth!

Jim Henson's Labyrinth: Beyond the Goblin City spotlights the secret history of Sir Didymus and the untold story of one of Jareth's Masquerade guests, in addition to tales featuring fan-favorite characters like Ludo, Hoggle, Ambrosius, and the Goblin King himself.

This epic collection showcases imaginative tales from critically acclaimed writers and artists including Jonathan Case (The New Deal), Delilah S. Dawson (Star Wars: Phasma), Gustavo Duarte (Bizarro), Roger Langridge (Snarked), Katie Cook (Star Wars: ABC-3PO), Jeff Stokely (The Ludocrats), S.M. Vidaurri (Labyrinth: Under the Spell), Sina Grace (Superman: Kal-El Returns), Michael Dialynas (Wynd), Sarah Webb (The Storyteller: Sirens), Boya Sun (5 Worlds), Lara Elena Donnelly (The Amberlough Dossier), French Carlomagno (The Dead Lucky), Pius Bak (Eat The Rich), Samantha Dodge (Catwoman: Soulstealer), and many more!

Collects Jim Henson's Labyrinth: Shortcuts and Jim Henson's Labyrinth: Under the Spell."

It really is amazing how expansive the world of Labyrinth has become, especially in comics, over the last few years.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: A Study in Drowning, Amy Carol Reeves, Ava Reid, Daphne Du Maurier, Dark Academia, Dorothy Parker, Gothic, J.J. Murphy, Jim Henson, Julie Mulhern, Kristi DeMeester, Labyrinth, Nadia Davids, Queen Victoria, Sarah Yarwood-Lovett

Iron and Velvet by Alexis Hall
Published by: Riptide Publishing
Publication Date: December 14th, 2013
Format: Kindle, 254 Pages
Rating: ★★
To Buy (different edition than one reviewed)

Kate Kane stays away from vampires. Sadly they don't stay away from her. After a disastrous teenage romance with the sparkly Patrick she has learned many things. One is Patrick will never understand that she's gay, and he will forever leave creepy drawings on her pillow of her sleeping. Two is that you don't work for vampires. Especially if it's a vampire prince who is sex on legs. Which Julian Saint-Germain, the Prince of Cups, definitely is. But Kate's a P.I. and a P.I. has to pay the bills, especially if your partner up and got killed on you, and the vampires are willing to pay her the "I don't work for vampires" rate. So she agrees to take a look at their problem. Their problem is a dead werewolf in the alley behind one of Julian's clubs, The Velvet. The werewolf in question is Andrew J.H. Vane-Tempest, who happened to be dating the club's drag queen. He's been drained of blood, but not in a vampiric way. Which makes Kate think that this is political. Shit, she really hates politics. But she's willing to play if they're willing to pay and off she goes to track down the local alpha werewolf, Tara Vane-Tempest, who just happens to be a lingerie model in the middle of a shoot. Now this would be one of the "perks" of the job. The downsides being; being in the middle of a war between vampires, werewolves, and mages, having to deal with so many exes it's almost ridiculous, evil ghostly spirits, oh, and the fact that her mother is the immortal embodiment of an abstract concept making Kate an honest-to-God faery princess, running out of booze, not having money to replace the booze, and inevitably dying because of some stupid job she agreed to. But she is a beloved daughter who will be sorely missed. Though as she delves deeper into the mysterious death of Andrew J.H. Vane-Tempest the inevitable happens, the bodies start to pile up. But Julian doesn't seemed concerned, Julian's only concern seems to be getting into Kate's pants. She plies her with pudding and the past. Being eight-hundred years old means that Julian has quite the history, especially as she was a demon-hunting ninja nun for the Order of St. Agrippina before she was turned. Or as Kate calls her, Sister Julian, Pudding Nun. And oddly enough, Kate's growing quite attached to her pudding nun. The problem is, that pudding nun's life is in danger and if they want a future together they are going to have to fight some serious shit. As in a sewer battle.

This is a review I've drafted over and over again in my head in the hopes of getting it right once I wrote it down. One reason is that when I'm not enjoying a book I'm reading I try to pinpoint why, and this inevitably leads to me marshaling my thoughts in a manner that might look like a loose outline for a review with specific phrases that strike me or possibly just random words that after the fact don't even make sense to me. The other reason is that my friend who recommended this series to me recommended it to me with the caveat that it's one of her favorites. And I don't know about you but when I don't like a book that someone I care about loves, it feels like I'm betraying them so I have to be very clear and concise as to why I feel how I feel. Iron and Velvet has an identity crisis. It doesn't know what it wants to be; noir, urban fantasy, romcom, parody, pastiche, mystery, vampire romance, and on and on. Now a master of the craft can weave all these disparate genres into a beautiful patchwork quilt where concepts and characters that shouldn't work together somehow magically do. Alexis Hall is no master. This is their first book and therefore we are left with scraps that switch from genre to genre like a car with a clunky transmission. And yes, I'm mixing metaphors, but if I was going to be tonally inconsistent, well, this is the book review to do it in. Because this identity crisis of what this book is bleeds into every aspect making it ill defined except for the odd specificity when he's lifting from other source material. Alexis Hall is a magpie unable to create a cohesive whole. You wouldn't be wrong to think Kate Kane is quoting Hugh Grant in Notting Hill for no reason I can figure out, and her entire backstory being the plot to Twilight? You're right there as well. And while it's funny to see that the entire plot of Twilight, all those hundreds and hundreds of pages, can be easily reduced to a couple of paragraphs, this cribbing of Kate's backstory from another source is lazy. Why not merge different vampire teen romance tropes into something unique and original? Because until the sparkling happened, the creepy drawings on the pillow could have been from any obsessed vampire. Therefore I was always kept at a distance from Bella, I mean Kate, because at no time did she attempt to become someone new and original. At least we know she was a "Beloved daughter. Sorely missed." Because she kept mentioning it over and over again. Was there no editing on this book? Because an editor would have said this book needed another pass. It needed some originality and some sense of place. It's just so much surface that after awhile you realize if you're trying to find depth, or why the apartment and the office move around in time in space, that you're never going to find it because there isn't any there there. I'm hoping this is all because it was a first book because otherwise I'm out.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 6:44 PM 0 comments  

Labels: Alexis Hall, An Urban Development, Bella Swan, Editor, Faery Princess, Hugh Grant, Identity Crisis, Iron and Velvet, Julian Saint-Germain, Kate Kane, London, Noir, Notting Hill, P.I., Pudding Nun, Tropes, Twilight, Vampires, Werewolves

Putting the Fun in Funeral by Diana Pharaoh Francis
Published by: Lucky Foot Press in conjunction with BVC
Publication Date: September 4th, 2018
Format: Kindle, 296 Pages
Rating: ★★★★
To Buy

Beck Wyatt's mother is dead. In the most gruesome yet amusing way possible. She was crushed to death by the phallus of one of the gargoyles that perched on the roof of her mansion. Don't worry, she deserved it. Which is something the police can't quite grasp and why Beck is a person of interest. The bereaved usually don't ask for crime screen photos to put on display. Or go about planning the tackiest funeral whose theme could literally be "Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead!" Because besides being her mother, she was a literal witch. A trait that Beck has inherited, though she made sure never to let her mother know about her powers. This woman spent years torturing Beck, who knows what would have happened if she knew about her powers. A lifetime of cages, chains, trials, and now she's free. All the secrets she kept bottled up to protect the three people in the world she loved can now be decanted like a cheap wine. Jen, Lorraine, and Stacey have always been there for Beck. They knew the Wicked Bitch was trouble, she did enough damage to their own lives, but they never knew how bad until now. Now that Beck can actually say what happened with impunity. When she's ready that is. First there needs to be much drinking, and tons of cheesecake. Of course, as "luck" would have it, her mother's death sets off a chain of events Beck could never have foreseen. First there's the attempted kidnapping by the very sexy Damon Matroviani. Then there's the death curse. Then there's the near death experience of plunging through a river to remove the death curse. More and more "incidents" keep happening to Beck which keep making her interesting to the police. She just wants to bury the Wicked Bitch and get on with running her business, a resale and consignment shop that also runs estate sales. Which of course means her business and home are attacked. And it turns out that Damon might have seen this all coming and warned her more properly. Because Beck is the daughter of two very powerful bloodlines and was kidnapped by her aunt at birth and raised without any knowledge of the world she should have taken a place in or her magical abilities. So once again Wicked Bitch AKA Aunty Mommy screws over her life. Here's hoping Beck can get it back, but on her terms, no one else's.

I feel there's really no way to properly classify Putting the Fun in Funeral. It might be one of the oddest Urban Fantasy books I've ever read. There seem to be two genres fighting for dominance and they couldn't be more different. On the one had it wants to be magical chick lit, with the girls giggling about guys while drinking margaritas and eating cheesecake. On the other hand it's straight up horror. The torture and PTSD that Beck has is heartbreaking and horrifying. And the book swings from one extreme to the other. Reading this book is almost like getting repeated whiplash. Yet somehow it works. There's a disconnect but also a tentative balance. It makes sense that Beck wants that part of her life that is hers to be almost superficial. I'm not saying that her connection to her friends isn't bone-deep, it's just that they let her set the boundaries and that means they stick to the "fun" as it where. They gossip and drink and drink and gossip and then get around to the cheesecake, because this is what Beck needs to counteract the horrors she faced in her past and still faces minimally twice a month at the hands of "Aunty Mommy." Though for me the real horror is when Beck learns more about the magical world she was kept apart from. That world is about bloodlines and status, in other words, if the Death Eaters and the Republic of Gilead from The Handmaid's Tale got together and created a breeding program this is what it would be. And it scared the shit out of me. This moved the book so far away from chick lit into straight up dystopian horror that I shudder just thinking about it. Beck would have no control over her reproductive rights. She would be forced into contracts and used as a broodmare to the benefit of her father's family. What's more, due to the whole "magical" nature of these people, she can be forced to carry twins or triplets. Oh, and every consummation guarantees conception. Just hell no. I just can't. The books that are the most successful are ones that despite whatever genre they are reflect the real world and real crises the readers are facing. This was almost too real. This is the world that so many people want to see become a reality. They want to take away all my rights to my own body. And I'll be standing at the ramparts with Beck screaming no. This is my body. You stay the fuck away.

Posted by Miss Eliza at 12:00 AM 0 comments  

Labels: An Urban Development, Beck Wyatt, Chick Lit, Damon Matroviani, Death Eaters, Diana Pharaoh Francis, Everyday Disasters, Gilead, Horror, PTSD, Putting the Fun in Funeral, Reproductive Rights, The Handmaid's Tale